You learn a lot throughout your first year of marriage. Some things you expect, while others you never see coming. In this post, I’ve outlined eighteen things I’ve learned during this first year of marriage. You may be wondering why I chose the number eighteen. Well, Ross and I were married on the 18th of June, so naturally, 18 was the magical number.
This first year of marriage has been amazing, sometimes hard, definitely emotional, but ALWAYS worth it.
1. I love my husband more than I did on our wedding day.
“I swear I couldn’t love you more than I do right now, and yet I know I will tomorrow.” I’ll never forget everyone always telling me, “You think you love Ross now, just wait until you’ve been married for years, you’ll love him even more.” I never thought that was possible. I honestly thought the day I married Ross was going to be the day my love maxed out. It’s weird to say that. Thinking about it, it sounds obvious that our love would grow. But that day, my heart was so full, I couldn’t fathom the fact that I could love him any more. Well… I have loved him more. every. single. day. It’s unexplainable, but amazing.
2. Men have opinions too.
Hmmmm. Wait, what? I had lived my life solo for so long that I did have a hard time adjusting to the fact that Ross has different opinions than I do on certain subjects. That meant I can’t just decide what I am having for dinner, what kind of curtain I am going to buy, what I want to do that night. I now have to communicate with him first. Most of the time, of course, he usually lets me pick out those things. However, there have been many times where our arms have been fully crossed and eyes fully rolling every which way, over what blender we wanted to buy for our smoothies. 🙂 In the beginning, it was hard to adjust. But now, I love being able to discuss and decide things as a team. He’s just learned that if it has to do with food, it’s going to be a bit harder for him to win that one. Haha 🙂
3. I’ll never get tired of being called “wife, babe, baby girl, etc.”
We all have nicknames for our significant other, admit it. And we all secretly LOVE it. Even a year into marriage, I love when Ross calls me those little nicknames. It’s just a little reminder of his adoration for you. PS- I called Ross by his actual name the other day and he looked at me like I was an alien. He legitimately was confused there for a second. (Side note: Does anyone else notice Joanna Gaines always calling her husband by his real name? –It kind of drives me insane. Phew, okay, glad that’s off my chest.)
4. The television is both our friend and our enemy.
We absolutely DO NOT like the same shows. I am more of a reality television girl, while he likes to watch sitcoms all.day.long. It’s terrible… for both of us, haha! We’ve recently tried a few Netflix shows that we both actually enjoy and have just learned to watch everything else when the other person isn’t in the room. 🙂
5. You still have your own personal dreams.
You realize that even though you two are now a pair, you still have your own passions. We’ve grown together so much as a couple. However, we’ve also both grown so much as individuals. It odd to say that marrying him has actually pushed me to be more independent and more me. He encourages me to fulfill my passions, do what I love, and try new things.
6. At least once a day, you’ll find a way to call him your husband.
It’s still so weird to tell people I’m married. Like…I’m not old enough for this. When I get to call him my husband though, a part of me ignites. Naturally, I say it as often as I can.
7. You have to let things go.
We all say things we don’t always mean and do things we sometimes regret. I’ve learned that I have to forgive in order to be the best wife possible and he’s learned that he has to forgive me, even when I’m being a little stinker.
8. Loving something other than each other changes your relationship for the better.
Loving Caden, our dog, together has actually bonded us more. I know our pup isn’t a baby, but seeing Ross love Caden and be the sweetheart he is, has just made me googly eyed over him even more than before. Seeing the man you love care for something else other than you two, kind of melts your heart.
9. Never go to bed angry.
I know, I know. That quote is way overused. But, Ross is a big believer in this. Even when we’re upset with each other, he will NOT let us go to bed mad. He will either want to talk it out, make silly (not always the funniest) jokes, or simply poke me (for what feels like an hour) until I stop ignoring him, laugh, and forgive him..usually instantly. (Grrr…he can be so cute, though!)
10. What we both think is obvious isn’t always so.
There have been countless times that I’ve been flabbergasted (I just love that word) that Ross hasn’t known what I was thinking. For example, one time I kept thinking that he was going to clean the house on his day off. I kept dreaming that when I got home from work, the dishes would be done, the trash taken out, and the house sparkling. When I got home that day, he was sitting there resting on the couch. I legitimately got mad at him. He looked at me with his mouth wide open, and those puppy dog eyes, unable to understand why I was mad. Come to find out, as I had been dreaming about a sparkling house, he had been dreaming that on his one day off that week, he could actually relax and relieve some stress. Neither one of us had talked to each other about what we wanted/needed and it became a issue because of assumptions. We’ve both learned to just simply tell one another what we need, and so far, it’s been amazing.
11. We learn something from each other every single day.
Not a day goes by that Ross doesn’t teach me something. He is so kind & gentle and constantly makes me think about things in a different light. We have amazing intellectual conversations that challenge our minds and make us think a little bit differently than we might have before. There are also days when he simply teaches me how to fix something, how to be a little more open minded, how to forgive myself, how to carry 5 things at a time, how to get to a certain destination. The list goes on.
12. Sometimes we have to listen, instead of talk.
I must admit, I do have a tough time listening to him when I’m passionate or upset about something. As this year has passed, I’ve learned that the more I listen, the more I understand my husband. (See what I did there?) I understand where he’s coming from, what he believes in, what he cares about, etc.
13. Money discussions are the worst discussions.
Money…the number one thing married couples argue about. We argued about it for about 1 month and then decided to come up with a plan. Now that our plan is in place, we haven’t had a disagreement since. It feels so freeing to let that side of things go.
14. Tell him your dreams and let him tell you his.
Being married doesn’t mean your dreams are dead. Those ambitions are just as important as they were before you were married. Telling each other your dreams, helps to make them a reality. If you have a good partner, which I’m sure you do, he will push you to continue dreaming and pursue what you love. As he does that for you, always be sure to do it for him too.
15. Loving each other above all else is most important.
Love him always, even when you don’t always feel like it.
16. You’ll feel beautiful every time you’re together.
I never thought there would be a time where I felt completely beautiful wearing week old sweat pants, a torn sweater, my hair in a greasy bun, and pimples on my face, but I do. Sure, he saw me like this plenty of times before we were married, but something changes in that first year. You start to realize that he’s seen you like this for a long period of time and he still tells you that you’re beautiful every chance he gets. He may be lying straight to my face, but in the end, he never misses a chance to tell me I look pretty and I think that’s pretty great.
17. He’s never leaving. We’re not breaking up. This is forever.
When we are in an argument or upset with each other, we know that at the end of the day, we’re still going to be together. There is no potential of “breaking up” like there used to be. We know we’re going to fix whatever it is that we’re going through. We made a decision to stay together forever, and forever we will.
18. Marriage is better than I ever imagined it being.
It’s true. Those fairy tale feelings you dream of as a little girl couldn’t ever compare to what it really feels like to be married to the man of your dreams. When you’re little, you watch all those princess shows of the girl finding her magical prince. They live happily ever after and as a little girl, you want that. My thoughts on marriage started changing when I hit my early twenties, after going through heartbreak and still searching for who I wanted to be, I started seeing marriage differently. It actually began to scare me. I thought of marriage as a cage. A place you go to when are done living your dreams. A place in which you feel trapped and sometimes even alone. Boy…how things have changed. After meeting Ross, falling in love, and being married for a year, I now picture marriage in a completely new way. I visualize marriage as a picture of Ross and I, hand in hand, smiling at one another. We’re walking down a road filled with color, blue skies, and a shining sun. We can see adventures, laughter, homes, family, pets, and future plans. However, we can also see hills that represent the unknown. We know that even though there are things that we might not be able to see, we will always be hand in hand, beside each other through it all. That, my friends, is marriage.